murrinamortem

The ammoniated air I've been choking on Stale breaths Of pungent poison A miasma of melancholy Thickening in my lungs Inhaling insomnia and Manifesting mania Confounded by Hereditary hysteria Another casualty of The cyanide of psychosis

The nostalgic zephyr of December Had awoken grief deep below My florid skin and frigid bones Spirit, pale and blue The washed-out shade of anguish Welled up and consumed my being A seeming Ouroboros of despair Until the arrival of radiant January Her amaranth dawns Enveloped me Reignited my crimson heart Washed clean of sentimental December With a newly youthful mind I begin once again

He paints with smoke Black clouds of ecstasy Swirling through my mind I inhale the opiate he designs With fervor and ink A vehement display Fogs my vision Intoxicating me In the nebula he casts This Ptah reborn Carry me from reality And into your realm of Stygian beauty

On amethyst wings I flew Through skies laced with gold Porcelain skin blushing in the cold Men marveled and sang But to you, I gave my heart Delicate, tender work of art With strong hands you played The strings of my mind's harp Until your fingers bled I sacrificed my soul to you And yet, was it not enough? My beauty, nonexistent? My love, impure? As I watched my love leave To wings of emerald I was not enough Not graceful Not sweet Farewell, incubus I shall remain midst the shattered amethyst.

Can you feel The pressurized grey Inside my halo Shining bright With azure light Foggy and dim Cold haze of soul Sunlight come forth From the trenches Of my heart Hidden again Another day

A silver sigh From seraph's breath Silken petals' Wafting scent Your touch Sets me ablaze Earthen eyes Piercing like a blade Your kiss boils my blood My Apollo Loving you pains me But living in the cold Pains me more than living

I remember that joyous sound Your laughter glowing with youth The sound of hope Sweet golden light Audible euphoria Silenced now By hatred's hand Verdant demon of envy I should have thought carefully Before acting on impulse But oh, how I longed to see The rubescent fountain Underneath that jubilant guise I lusted for the taste Of the supple carnage As I buried my steel Deep into your neck The knife is my brush And you, my canvas Let the world behold my Hematic magnum opus

Enigmatic hypocrite Inspiring me with lies Demonic angel Who are you to call me The shell of a girl I used to be Embracing me With thorned appendages Saccharine words To quell my growing fear I hear the bellow Of your thunderous mind Lacking the touch of azure lightning It lies dormant Somewhere in your hollow chest Your heart pumps ashen blood Through veins of dust and wool Demigod no longer Inspiration no more You no longer quench My undying thirst

What can I achieve In this merciless world Unsavory, I The heartless girl Walking dead Unappealing, child Bound to anger Depression Anxiety Labels, am I All that is wrong with me Is me Am I? What will I do To break these chains My skin is cold And my heart is ice But the fire of my mind Persists It burns It will not rest And as I lie Frozen and dead The flames consume me

Your words to me A guiding light that sears Blackens my skin and peels away My innocence Happiness is frozen quartz Whittled away by your Voice of fire I lay drowning In a sea of my own tears And as I look at you I see My pallid face reflected on your mirror teeth Your hands of stone Paint my skin a deep purple of Sorrow and majesty And that sound Of rushing water As I drift below the tears My voice, frail Cries out To mingle with the flames My skeleton exposed As the crows descend to pick clean The scorched flesh of my childhood The ashes of my youth The blood clouds my vision As I curl up The soft and tender core